


Visitors

by purajobot935



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Coping, Dreams, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Supernatural Elements, Tissue Warning, it has a happy ending, post-TFTM, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 14:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1160804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purajobot935/pseuds/purajobot935
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the immediate aftermath of the Autobot City attack, a couple of mechs find comfort in mechs unlooked for...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Visitors

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published: February 2008

Evening came early to Autobot City, as it had been doing these past couple of days, casting dying beams of sunlight onto the massive metallic structure that was now only a shadow of its former self. 

Walls that once gleamed a smooth orange were now cracked and riddled with scorch marks – grim evidence of the long battle that had taken place just two days ago. Hallways that had once glowed brightly with the welcome of home, were now lit dimly by emergency lights, housing shadows of fallen comrades who now haunted the memories of those who walked those corridors.

Few now dared to venture forth from their quarters after nightfall, and those who did so were either called brave or foolish. The darkness served as a reminder of the evils that could lurk within, waiting to leap out at any unsuspecting individual and tear him apart.

But there were those who welcomed the night. Those who were only able to drop their masks and shields once the shadows took over. Those who wanted to mourn, but were unable to do so in the daylight hours. These found comfort in the darkness.

\----------

Bluestreak retreated to his quarters, having finally been deemed mentally stable enough to go back to his room and rest. The young gunner, once so talkative and full of life, now sat silently down on his berth anc cradled his head in his hands. He had no one to talk to now and the silence within the room soon began to pound relentlessly at his audios. With a whimper, he curled up on his berth.

Before the battle there would always be noise from the surrounding rooms, and light peeping under his door from the hallway, but now the hallway was dark, and the previous occupant of the room next to his gone forever.

He glanced down at the smooth reflective surface of his berth and at the mech that stared back at him, touching the tear that trickled out of the corner of his optic, because it served as a constant reminder of the mech he’d lost. Prowl had meant a lot to him – had been his friend and mentor ever since he’d joined Optimus’ army. Many had first thought they were the twins, and not Sideswipe and Sunstreaker who were the real brothers.

The reflection stared back at him and Bluestreak tried to imagine for a moment that it was Prowl looking at him with his usual calm expression.

“Help me,” he murmured. “Help me get through tonight and maybe I’ll be strong enough to get up in the morning.”

The tear dripped on to the surface of the berth and Bluestreak smeared it with his fingers, distorting the image just the slightest bit so that in the darkness of the room it almost looked as if his silver had turned to black and white. Gently he touched the reflection.

“Where are you, Prowl?” he asked. “I wish you could talk back to me like you used to. Are you alright where you are? Does it hurt? I’m sorry I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to you.” He let out a shaky sigh. “I never got to say thanks for all the times you helped me. I mean, you must have had better things to do than listen to me talk and talk, but you did, and I appreciate it y’know. Talking helps me deal with stuff, and here I am doing it again. I guess it makes me feel like you’re not really gone, know what I mean?”

He smiled a little, and the Prowl-like reflection smiled back at him. “You always made me feel better. Will you help me now? Please?”

\----------

First Aid shut the door on his final patient of the day and let out a tired sigh. He was exhausted, having had to do each and every repair by himself now that he no longer had Ratchet with him. He shook his head and turned back to the recently-used table, picking up a cloth to wipe down and sterilize the surface properly before its next use.

He poured on some of the detergent and began to scrub, keeping his mind on the task instead of letting it wander to thoughts of the medic who’d once shared the med-bay with him. The place felt far too quiet now, without Ratchet’s gruff voice either complaining about one of their patients or instructing him in some way or the other.

Stopping mid-scrub, he shook his head again. He had to stop thinking of them before he completely lost his mind. He couldn’t afford to. He was their only medic now and they needed him. He had to be strong and help them keep it together, not fall to pieces along with them.

The thought scared him – he was now Chief Medic, and he didn’t know if he was ready for it. He’d always relied on Ratchet’s guidance and expertise to get him through tough periods in his life, and there was still so much more he needed to learn. His small shoulders hunched over in despair. It was a huge task to ask of himself. What if he screwed up? There was no one now for him to fall back on.

But even more than that, he felt he’d lost a father-figure. Ratchet had practically raised him in his med-bay, day in and day out, and now he had just been ripped out of First Aid’s life in the space of a few seconds. There had been no final words of comfort, no fond goodbye – nothing.

First Aid shook slightly. They hadn’t even allowed him to see the bodies of the dead Autobots. Hotspot had forbidden it, and the little medic figured that his big brother had only been trying to protect him. The news of Ratchet’s death had already broken him, so seeing the body might have pushed him over the edge. His small frame trembled and he slowed the movement of his arm, staring down at the surface for a moment.

It was then that he spotted the tiny patch of tried energon that marred the otherwise pristinely clean table-top, and frowning to himself, he reached for some something with which he could scrape it off. His hand closed around a small chisel that he sometimes used to pry open stubborn or fused pieces of armor, and he began to use the flattened end to try and get rid of the stain.

First Aid would normally have never done this on a recently cleaned surface for fear of the tool slipping, but this night he was feeling anything but normal. The chisel slipped on the smooth surface and cut a neat gash into the medic’s thumb, causing First Aid to drop to his knees with a pained cry.

\----------

Sideswipe was walking down the darkened hallway to his quarters when he thought he heard voices coming from behind one of the doors. This was strange, he thought, since most mechs were either asleep at this time or simply… not there. He managed to pinpoint the sound to Bluestreak’s room, and frowned.

The gunner had been quite unstable and distraught over the past couple of days, and understandably so. He’d finally been released back to his quarters tonight to rest, and if that was the case, then who the frag was in his room talking to him? Concerned for his friend, he stopped and knocked lightly on the door.

“Blue? Is everything alright?” he asked.

“Is that you, Sideswipe?” the gunner asked in return. “Yeah, it’s fine. Come in.”

The door slid open and Sideswipe stepped inside, looking around carefully, though the room remained strangely empty except for Bluestreak himself.

“Who were you talking to?”

“No one,” Bluestreak said quickly.

Sideswipe gave him a look. “I heard your voice. Was anyone in here bothering you?”

“Oh, no. No one was here.” He looked sheepish.

“Alright then.” Sideswipe wasn’t convinced, but didn’t want to pressure the already bereaved mech, so he turned to go out again.

“Wait!” Bluestreak called.

Sideswipe turned back.

“Don’t go.” The silver mech looked pleadingly at him. “Can you stay a while? Please? It’s so lonely.”

“Of course I’ll stay, Blue.” Sideswipe went over to the berth and sat beside him. “As long as you want.”

Bluestreak came closer and nestled against his side, causing the red mech to freeze for a moment at the sudden close contact and invasion of personal space. The gunner looked at him questioningly and Sideswipe smiled, forcing himself to relax for Bluestreak’s sake. To assure him further, Sideswipe put an arm around his shoulders and gave them a light squeeze.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Bluestreak said after a while. “It was too quiet.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“I was talking to Prowl actually,” Bluestreak confessed.

Sideswipe looked at him with a mixture of curiosity and worry. “You talked to Prowl?”

Bluestreak nodded. “Yeah. Sometimes if I stare at my reflection hard enough that it gets a little blurry, then it sorta starts to look like Prowl. He didn’t say anything back though, but then again he never really talked much. He smiled though, he had a nice smile. I used to tell him to show it off more.” A tear trickled down his cheek. “You think he saved his last smile for me?”

“Oh Blue.” It took everything Sideswipe had to keep from breaking down in tears himself, and instead forced a weak smile on his face for Bluestreak’s sake. “I’m sure he did.”

Bluestreak laid his head on Sideswipe’s shoulder, angled so that the sharp points of his chevron wouldn’t stab the warrior in the neck. “You think it hurt? When he died?”

“I heard it was fast and painless.”

“That’s good then, right? Better than having to suffer and pass away slowly.”

“A lot better. That’s how I’d like to go.”

Sideswipe felt Bluestreak grip his knee tightly

“Only you wont, right?” the gunner asked, a touch of panic creeping into his voice. “I mean we’ve already lost them, and maybe Jazz and the others, too. So if you were to go as well it’d be horrible, and I don’t think I could handle it well at all…”

“No Blue, no,” Sideswipe gently cut him off. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Bluestreak relaxed. “That’s good. Because Sunstreaker would probably hate it, too, if you went, and that wouldn’t be good at all.”

\----------

Sunstreaker was exhausted. Inter-galactic flight, epic battles and massive clean-up efforts could do that to a mech, he supposed, and all he wanted to do now was lay his head down and try and sleep it all away. At least that way he wouldn’t have to think about the losses till he was ready to deal with them.

He decided to take a short-cut to his quarters and turned down a corridor that led past the medbay. That was when he heard the distressed cry come from inside.

Thinking that there were still a couple of hidden Decepticons they hadn’t flushed out yet, and that they were now threatening their only remaining medic, Sunstreaker summoned his rifle and charged inside. He stopped short when he found First Aid kneeling on the floor and cradling a hand, muffled sobs coming from behind his mask. Stowing his weapon, Sunstreaker went over and crouched in front of him.

“What happened?” he asked. “Are you hurt?”

“Just… just cut my finger, it’s n… nothing serious,” First Aid replied, trying to compose himself. He hadn’t thought anyone would still be awake at this time and thus hadn’t expected anyone to walk in.

“Let me see,” Sunstreaker said, taking the afflicted hand and gently examining it.

First Aid allowed him, a bit surprised at his gentleness, since he was more accustomed to seeing the warrior’s rougher side. “Really, it’s nothing.”

“It can't be nothing if you’re sitting here crying.”

“I wasn’t crying over that,” First Aid said, then quickly stopped.

Sunstreaker produced a roll of magna-strip and proceeded to wrap it around the medic’s injured thumb. “Oh? What were you crying over then?”

First Aid said nothing and looked away

“Was it Ratchet?”

The medic looked back at him, clearly distressed.

“I thought so.” Sunstreaker released First Aid’s hand, then moved to sit on the floor beside him. “I miss him, too. He was a good medic, did a lot for me and Sideswipe.”

“He wasn’t supposed to go so soon. There was still a lot he had to teach me.” First Aid’s voice hitched. “He was coming back to see how I’d progressed in the time while he was away on the Moonbase. Now he’ll never know.”

“I think he knew how good you were before he went. He’d never have left Autobot City otherwise.” Sunstreaker touched the smaller mech’s shoulder in comfort and sympathy.

“And… and I wanted to tell him…” First Aid broke off with another sob.

“How much you loved him?”

A nod. “He was the closest thing to a father I’ve ever had and I wanted to tell him that.”

“I never got a chance to thank him either.”

“If only they’d let me go out to the shuttle. Maybe there was a chance…”

“No Aid, there wasn’t. They were dead long before the shuttle crashed into the forest. There was nothing you could have done for them.”

“Do you think there was a lot of pain? Did he suffer?”

“It probably hurt for only a second or two, no suffering at all, just like the others.”

“It’s just not fair!” First Aid cried. “You don’t go in and rip a mech out of someone’s life without even giving him a chance to say goodbye!”

Sunstreaker sighed and patted his knee. “War’s not fair, Aid.”

The medic sighed as well. “Do you think there’s any hope for Jazz and the others?”

“I don’t know,” the warrior admitted. “But they’ve got a good team looking for them. Magnus is a good leader.”

The medic whimpered and unconsciously moved closer to the warrior, who normally didn’t tolerate other mechs at such close quarters to him, but decided to make an exception just this once. Besides, First Aid had always been nice to him, and he wasn’t the only one grieving for Ratchet right now.

“I just want everything to be alright again.”

Sunstreaker nodded. “So do I, Aid.” He gently rubbed the mech’s arm. “You should try and get some sleep. You look exhausted.”

“Looked at yourself lately?” First Aid asked. “And I don’t think I could sleep even if I wanted to. It’s just so lonely.”

Sunstreaker smiled a tired smile. “I’ll stay with you.”

First Aid glanced up at him. “Really?”

“Yeah. We’re in Ratchet’s med-bay after all. No place safer to be.”

“Alright, but only if you promise me you’ll get some rest as well.”

“You’ve got a deal.” Sunstreaker settled back against the side of the table. “Sweet dreams, Aid.”

\----------

Sideswipe was fast asleep by the time Bluestreak finally drifted off into a restless recharge, made only possible by the warrior’s presence next to him. somewhere in the middle of his rest cycle, he thought he woke up to the sound of someone softly calling his name. At first he thought it was Sideswipe, but he could sense the red mech still sleeping peacefully beside him. Curious, he tried to get up, but just as soon felt something holding him down.

“Peace,” a familiar voice said. “Be still.”

Bluestreak’s vision cleared and he found himself gazing into Prowl’s face. A lump of panic welled up in his throat. “This has to be a dream. You’re dead.”

Prowl nodded. “Yes, you’re right, this is a dream, and I am indeed dead. How else could I be here, right?”

“R-Right, but what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in, I don’t know, heaven or something?”

“I’m on my way there, but I thought I’d see how you were doing before I left. I’m sure you have a lot of things you want to ask me before I go.”

“I thought I did. Maybe I should kinda narrow it down or something. I mean, what if I wake up? Who knows if I’ll have the same dream again when I go back to sleep?”

“Bluestreak.” Prowl’s voice was soft, but commanding, just like it always used to be. “You have to start trusting others now, but more importantly, you have to start trusting yourself. You still have your life, live it like it means something to you.”

Bluestreak looked stricken for a moment. “I don’t know if I can.”

“You can. You know you can. You’ve come a long way since you were pulled out of the rubble on Cybertron.” Prowl smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

“Are you? Really?”

Prowl nodded. “Really.”

“Aw gee, thanks. It means a lot coming from you. I always kinda looked up to you.”

“I know, but you don’t need me anymore now. You’re going to be fine on your own.”

“But what about you? Are you alright where you are? Does it hurt at all? Did it hurt when you died? I’m afraid that it might have been really painful.”

“I assure you, the pain was very brief – just a few seconds of it and then it was all over. I think I’m alright. I’m not alone, and I think I have an idea of where I’m supposed to go.”

Prowl seemed to frown as he pondered this, and Bluestreak couldn’t help but remember all the times he’d done it when he was alive. He realized that he was going to miss it, just like he was going to miss a lot of other things. If only letting go wasn’t so hard.

“Will I ever see you again?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe. When your time is done you may be permitted to join us, wherever we may be.”

“Are you scared?”

“Strangely, no. I’m more curious to see what awaits us, than afraid.”

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“I know, but I must.”

“Can I at least say goodbye this time?”

“That is precisely why I am here. Find your peace Bluestreak, and maybe then you can help others find theirs.”

“I’ll try.” Bluestreak sighed. “So this is goodbye for now, huh?”

“Yes it is. Goodbye Bluestreak.”

“Bye Prowl.”

The vision faded and Bluestreak’s optics came online of their own accord. Sideswipe was still asleep beside him, seemingly unaffected by the whole encFounter. The silver gunner settled back down, finally able to feel a sense of peace within, and he smiled.

“Thanks Prowl,” he murmured as he fell back into recharge.

And nearby, a shadow shifted and vanished, leaving behind a whisper in the still air.

“You’re very welcome, Bluestreak.”

\----------

First Aid drowsed uneasily despite being inside one of the safest places in Autobot City. It just seemed however that every time he thought he was falling asleep, he’d start seeing a vision of Ratchet in his mind, which would just wake him right back up again.

“It’s just a dream, Aid,” the Ratchet-vision said to him when he once again drifted off. “There’s nothing that’s going to hurt you here.”

“But Ratchet… you… how are you here?”

“Anything’s possible in a dream, First Aid. Even talking to a dead mech.”

First Aid shuddered at that. “You died. They wouldn’t even let me see you, to try and fix you. Ratchet, what if I could have saved you and the others?”

“Aid, you’re a medic, not Primus. You’re capable of great things, but you can't bring the dead back to life. That requires a skill I was not qualified to teach, nor should you ever try to practice it.”

“But why not? If it can bring you all back again…”

“Would you pull a mech out of heaven for your own selfish needs?”

First Aid balked at that. He’d never seen it that way before. “Does that mean you’re in… is that where you are right now?”

“Not yet, but I think we should be heading that way soon enough. A couple of us had some unfinished business to attend to.”

“What’s yours?”

“I’m attending to it right now.”

“Me? But Ratchet, there must be other, more important…”

“No one was more important to me than you, Aid, and I want to make sure you’ll be okay before I go.”

“I was important to you?”

“Of course. You were the best medic I ever taught, and I’m not about to let you throw all that away just because I died.”

“But how can you say that? Ratchet, there’s still so much I need to learn from you.”

“Like what? First Aid, I’ve taught you everything I know. All you have to do now is teach yourself to have faith in your skills. You have nothing to be afraid of except your own self-doubt. Get over that limitation and there’s nothing you wont be able to do for these mechs. And they will need you before all this is over.”

“Do you think I can do it?”

“I know you can do it. I’m so proud of you. I only regret not having the chance to tell you that when I was alive.”

“Then we’re even, boss. I never had the chance to say thank you, for all you’ve done, for being like… like a father to me.”

“It was my pleasure, Aid.”

“Just tell me one thing, I have to know this – you weren't in any pain when you died were you?”

“No Aid, I wasn’t. If there was any pain, it was too brief for me to even remember it.”

“That’s good then. I would have hated to know you suffered.”

“I know. So you can rest assured that I didn’t.”

First Aid nodded. “Yes, I think I can now. Thank you so much for this, and for letting me say goodbye to you.”

“There’s no fragging way I would have left without saying goodbye to you either.”

“Will we ever meet again?”

“Perhaps one day, when its time for you to pass on the reins to some other young medic, but don’t worry about that now. You’re still young, and have much to do with your life. Live it well.”

“I’ll try my best, sir. I wont let you down.”

“I know you wont. Just do one thing for me though?”

“Anything.”

“Keep an optic on the Twins. They were the biggest pains in my aft, but I loved them just as much as I loved you. Help me look out for them.”

“You have my word, Ratchet.”

The former Chief Medic nodded. “And now its time for me to go.”

For a moment First Aid felt afraid, wanted to tell Ratchet to stay just a little longer, but he knew it was not up to him to decide. So he simply nodded in agreement.

“You’ll be alright,” Ratchet told him.

And somehow, First Aid knew he would be.

Ratchet smiled. “Goodbye, Aid.”

“Farewell Ratchet.”

Beside him, Sunstreaker shifted and First Aid roused himself and looked around. Ratchet was nowhere to be seen, but that was okay, he was finally at peace with himself. He had his mentor’s blessing and that was what mattered the most. He was healed.

“I can do this,” he told himself as he settled back to sleep.

And Ratchet smiled as he disappeared from the room. “Yes, you can.”

For now, all was at peace.

\----------

Ratchet met Prowl down one of the hallways.

“So how’d it go?” he asked.

“Quite well in fact,” Prowl replied. “Yourself?”

“Not too bad either.”

The two ghostly figures headed down the corridor, taking a last look at old places and old friends before they left to join the others at wherever they were supposed to be.

“They’re all good kids, Prowl,” Ratchet commented. “I sure hope they’ll be alright like we told them.”

“They will be. It’s not like we wont be keeping watch.”

“I suppose.” Ratchet paused. “So, where to now?”

“I guess we make our way to where the others are.”

“Okay, and how do we do that exactly?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh? You, Prowl, who is supposed to have a logical explanation for just about everything, do not know where we’re going or how we’re supposed to get there?”

“Your pardon Ratchet, but I’ve never been dead before.”

Ratchet chuckled and put an arm around him. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon enough.”

 

~END.


End file.
